Thursday, April 14, 2016

One day...








I posted a funny photo today on Facebook of a bumper sticker above (see photo).  So of course I began thinking about how my teenage son is so stubborn and doesn't always listen to reason. You know they are correct all the time, right? I miss the days that he was little and everything was easier. I know. I know. It's just a phase. I doubt that, but I digress. It brought me back to an incident yesterday with my 8 year old, Asa. He found a cucumber in the trunk from when we got groceries the day before. He said, "Hey, there's a zucchini in here." Mind you that he doesn't even eat veggies. I told him that it was a cucumber and so began the war of "No it's not." I tried to explain that cucumbers are best if eaten cold, of which he would know nothing about because he doesn't partake in their deliciousness. I think told him that zucchini is best if cooked in some manner. His Gramma Holler makes amazing zucchini bread. He tried to school me in the fact that neither of those where necessarily true. I shook my head and let it go with a laugh as he handed me the "cuzini". 

Those are the times I want him to remember. So I did something sort of genius. I opened an email account just for him, and decided to send him emails. The first email I sent to him read just like this:

One day you are going to open this email account and need to hear your mom say how much she loves you. I want you to know that you are an amazing person and I will always love you no matter what! By the way, yesterday you argued with me that the cucumber you found in the car was a zucchini. Yes, someone dropped it from the grocery bag. 💖MOM

I recall one day Asa was super bored and was bugging me to do something...anything. I told him to go make a fort. I did that as a child all the time. He went outside and came back in immediately and said, "I don't know how." Don't even get me started on how technology is ruining outside play time. Anyway, I told him to go ask his dad to help him. So he went to my husband and asked for a treehouse. My husband was loaded with work to do that day, but it was the weekend and family time. I overheard him say something about no time or money. After Asa went outside I asked Christopher, my husband, how he feels when he wants to spend time with the older ones and they shrug him off. I explained that he would only be little for a short time and to take advantage of it. It must've hit home, because by the end of the day there was the makings of an awesome treehouse. 

Do something today that your children will remember tomorrow. It doesn't have to be a treehouse or anything grand. A journal that you write little notes to them in that you save for graduation or a wedding day will do. You will miss them when they have flown the nest. I miss my Madison like crazy everyday. 

Saturday, March 12, 2016

The Hardest Day of My Life

Today makes one year since someone that means the world to me was ripped away without notice. No matter the circumstance, reason, or outcome...it happened. There are days I try to forget that it happened. There are days that I am happy. I never thought that I could be happy. When I am happy I feel guilty. Should I be happy? Should I feel joy and pleasure when she can't? I know that she wouldn't want me to feel that way. I know she spent every waking day trying to make my life better. She would want me to have the best experiences life has to offer.

The range of emotions are wide and deep. They change daily. As I ask myself why some people have the best life with all the things they need, and we have to struggle for the little bit we have I try to think that there is a bigger picture. There must be something better in store for me...us...my family.